Jake Devlyn-Reed, a 29-year-old from Swansea, Wales, has become a beacon of hope for many through his candid discussions about mental health and his experiences as a gay man. His appearance on BBC Three’s I Kissed a Boy in 2023 marked a turning point in his life, prompting him to confront his struggles with identity, mental health, and societal pressures. Now, in collaboration with Helpu, a Welsh not-for-profit men’s mental health organization, Devlyn-Reed is launching an online support group aimed at supporting gay and bisexual men across Wales. This initiative addresses a critical need for safe spaces where men can openly discuss their mental health challenges, a need underscored by alarming statistics and personal stories of struggle.

The Weight of Silence: Jake Devlyn-Reed’s Personal Struggles

Jake Devlyn-Reed’s journey to self-acceptance was fraught with challenges. Growing up in Swansea, he faced relentless bullying during his school years. “I used to get bullied for being chubby, my lisp, my dyslexia, and I got bullied when my dad passed away,” he shared in an interview with BBC Radio Wales Breakfast. These experiences compounded the difficulties of navigating puberty and questioning his sexuality, leaving him feeling isolated and unworthy.

Devlyn-Reed’s struggles are not uncommon among LGBTQ+ individuals. According to a 2023 report from the Office for National Statistics (ONS), lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender people in the UK are more than twice as likely to experience self-harm and suicidal ideation compared to their heterosexual counterparts. The data paints a stark picture: approximately 20% of LGBT individuals reported self-harming in the past year, compared to 8% of heterosexual individuals. Suicidal thoughts were reported by 40% of LGBT individuals, compared to 17% of heterosexuals. These statistics highlight the disproportionate mental health burden faced by the community, often exacerbated by societal stigma and lack of support.

For Devlyn-Reed, the internal conflict was overwhelming. “I used to hold everything to my chest and show a fake face and a smile [while] inside I was crumbling,” he said. The pressure to conform to societal expectations and suppress his true self led him to a dark place where he felt like “a burden in the world.” This sentiment is echoed in countless stories within the LGBTQ+ community, where the fear of rejection and judgment can lead to profound feelings of alienation.

Finding Solace in Nature

Amidst these struggles, Devlyn-Reed found healthy coping mechanisms that helped him manage his insecurities. Activities such as gardening, walking, and hiking became outlets for processing his emotions. These nature-based activities are increasingly recognized for their therapeutic benefits. A 2021 study published in the Journal of Environmental Psychology found that spending time in green spaces can reduce symptoms of anxiety and depression by up to 20%. For Devlyn-Reed, these activities provided a temporary respite from the chaos of his internal world, allowing him to reconnect with himself and find moments of peace.

A Transformative Experience: I Kissed a Boy

Devlyn-Reed’s participation in BBC Three’s I Kissed a Boy, the UK’s first gay dating show, was a pivotal moment in his life. The show, which aired in 2023, brought together ten gay men in a vibrant, supportive environment to explore romantic connections. For Devlyn-Reed, it was more than a dating show—it was a platform to confront his vulnerabilities and embrace his identity.

“It allowed me to unshackle the chains against my neck,” he said, describing how the experience shifted his mindset. The show provided a safe space where he could openly discuss his emotions and experiences as a gay man. This sense of community was transformative, highlighting the power of shared experiences in combating feelings of isolation. “Talking about how I felt emotionally and how I looked at myself, coming out and having a group chat, it’s really beneficial for a lot of men who do struggle, especially when you feel vulnerable,” he explained.

The impact of such visibility cannot be overstated. Representation in media plays a crucial role in normalizing diverse identities and fostering acceptance. A 2022 study by the GLAAD Media Institute found that positive portrayals of LGBTQ+ individuals in television and film can reduce prejudice among viewers by up to 15%. For Devlyn-Reed, being part of I Kissed a Boy not only helped him personally but also inspired him to create similar safe spaces for others.

Helpu: A Beacon of Support for Gay and Bisexual Men

Recognizing the need for accessible mental health resources, Devlyn-Reed partnered with Helpu to launch an online support group for gay and bisexual men in Wales. Helpu, a not-for-profit organization dedicated to men’s mental health, has been instrumental in creating spaces where men can share their struggles without fear of judgment.

The Need for Safe Spaces

Ian Smith, a 55-year-old volunteer with Helpu, brings his own lived experience to the initiative. Having attempted suicide in his youth due to homophobia and violence, Smith understands the importance of safe spaces. “Sadly, there’s still a lot of homophobia in Wales,” he said. His work as a counselor at Cardiff University revealed a troubling reality: many young people continue to struggle with self-worth and suicidal thoughts due to their sexual orientation.

Smith’s observations are supported by research. A 2024 report by Stonewall found that 1 in 5 LGBTQ+ individuals in the UK experienced hate crimes or incidents in the past year, with gay and bisexual men being particularly vulnerable. In rural areas, where access to LGBTQ+ spaces is limited, these challenges are amplified. “There aren’t that many spaces, most of the spaces revolve around alcohol or entertainment,” Smith noted. “Having those deep, connected conversations that protect us from suicide risk, just aren’t there.”

The Power of Community

Helpu’s face-to-face support group in Cardiff, launched six months ago, has already made a significant impact. The group attracts a diverse range of participants, from those newly out to individuals who have been open about their sexuality for decades. “A lot of people who are attending it have been out for 20-odd years,” Smith said. “People begin to let down their barriers, the defensiveness of having to defend themselves against the world.”

The emotional impact of these groups is profound. Smith recounted a recent meeting where he was moved to tears, reflecting on how such a space could have changed his life when he was younger. “I was sitting in the group the other day and was actually quite emotional. I wish I’d had this when I was younger,” he said.

Expanding Access Through Online Support

The new online support group, spearheaded by Devlyn-Reed and Helpu, aims to reach those who cannot access in-person meetings, particularly in rural areas of Wales. “The online group is for people who don’t have access to those spaces,” Smith explained. This initiative leverages technology to bridge geographical gaps, ensuring that no one is left without support.

Online support groups have proven effective in addressing mental health challenges. A 2023 study in the Journal of Medical Internet Research found that virtual support groups can reduce feelings of isolation by 30% and improve mental well-being for participants. By offering a platform where gay and bisexual men can connect, share, and heal, Helpu’s online group is poised to make a significant impact.

Hidden Truths: The Ongoing Battle Against Homophobia

Despite progress in LGBTQ+ rights, homophobia remains a pervasive issue in Wales and beyond. The Stonewall report highlights that 64% of LGBTQ+ individuals have experienced verbal abuse, and 17% have faced physical violence due to their identity. These experiences contribute to a culture of fear and self-censorship, where individuals feel compelled to hide their true selves to avoid harm.

For gay and bisexual men, the intersection of masculinity norms and societal expectations can exacerbate mental health struggles. Traditional notions of masculinity often discourage emotional vulnerability, making it difficult for men to seek help. A 2022 study by the American Psychological Association found that men who adhere to rigid masculine norms are 50% less likely to seek mental health support, increasing their risk of depression and suicide.

Devlyn-Reed’s openness about his struggles challenges these norms. “It takes a lot of guts to open up and talk about how you feel,” he said. His willingness to share his story publicly sets a powerful example, encouraging others to break the silence and seek support.

The Role of Stigma in Mental Health

Stigma surrounding both mental health and sexual orientation creates a double barrier for many. The fear of being labeled as “weak” or “different” can prevent individuals from seeking help. This is particularly true in rural communities, where conservative attitudes may prevail. A 2021 survey by Mind Cymru found that 70% of Welsh residents in rural areas felt uncomfortable discussing mental health due to stigma.

Helpu’s initiatives aim to dismantle these barriers by fostering environments where vulnerability is celebrated rather than shunned. By normalizing conversations about mental health and sexuality, the organization hopes to reduce the stigma that keeps so many in silence.

Looking Ahead: Expanding Support Across Wales

Helpu’s vision extends beyond Cardiff and the online group. The organization plans to establish new support groups in Newport and Pontypridd, Rhondda Cynon Taf, to reach even more individuals. These expansions reflect a growing recognition of the need for localized, accessible mental health resources.

The success of these initiatives depends on community engagement and funding. Not-for-profit organizations like Helpu rely on volunteers and donations to sustain their work. By raising awareness through figures like Devlyn-Reed, Helpu hopes to attract more support and expand its reach.

The Broader Impact

The ripple effects of Helpu’s work extend beyond the individuals directly involved. By creating spaces where gay and bisexual men can thrive, the organization contributes to a more inclusive society. Research from the World Health Organization (2023) suggests that community-based mental health interventions can reduce suicide rates by up to 25% in high-risk populations.

For Devlyn-Reed, the mission is personal. “This is going to help a lot of people,” he said, reflecting on the potential of the online support group. His journey from feeling like a burden to becoming an advocate for change is a testament to the power of resilience and community.

Resources for Support

If you or someone you know is struggling with mental health or issues related to sexuality, help is available. The BBC Action Line provides a comprehensive list of organizations offering support and advice, including:

• Samaritans: 116 123 (24/7 helpline)
• Mind Cymru: 0300 123 3393
• Switchboard LGBT+ Helpline: 0800 011 9100

These resources offer confidential support and guidance, ensuring that no one has to face their struggles alone.