Krayknot

In my mid-twenties, I contracted herpes after a casual encounter where we didn't use protection. The virus manifested quickly with a painful outbreak two weeks later, and a test at urgent care confirmed it was HSV-2. This diagnosis was devastating, feeling like the end of my world. I realized I had to live with this forever and it shattered my sense of safety. It was a wake-up call to live more intentionally and have open conversations with partners before intimacy.

In my mid-twenties, I contracted herpes from a casual partner after unprotected sex. The outbreak was immediate and severe, confirming my self-diagnosis through research. At the time, I knew no one else with herpes and felt isolated.

Years later, while working at The Lily, I shared my experience in an article. It was a nerve-wracking but empowering experience, allowing me to reclaim my narrative and shed the shame associated with the virus.

Dating with herpes was a journey. After disclosing my status, I felt relieved from the emotional burden of constantly bringing it up. Following two long-term relationships, I re-entered the dating scene as a queer woman, navigating the complexities of disclosing my status on dating apps. I was uncertain about the impact it would have on my dating and sex life, and whether it would be another reason for potential rejection.

When I first used dating apps, I didn't mention having HSV. I tried to figure out the right time to bring it up, usually doing so in person to have more control over the conversation. However, I realized it was exhausting to constantly educate others about sexual health, and rejections based on my status felt disheartening.

So I began experimenting with different ways to disclose my status, including through text, voice notes, and eventually on my profile. On Feeld, I stated "HSV positive" and emphasized the importance of honest conversations about sexual health. It wasn't just about acceptance, but about finding partners who were willing to have open discussions and were knowledgeable about their own sexual health.